Movie Talk: Leeches (2003)

 Leeches is one of the greatest bad movies ever made. It is an over the top mix of hand puppets, cheesy acting and insane homoeroticism, and it is also absolutely hilarious.

Leeches was directed by David DeCoteau for his Rapid Heart label way back when Blockbuster was helping push a lot of low budget studios to fill help fill their store shelves. Oh Blockbuster... 

Anyways, the movie was one in a long line of low level exploitation films that aimed to flip the gaze, and put a focus on the male body over the female. It was an interesting take, and I of course appreciated it. The movies just ran up to the line of being dirty, but never pushed too hard over it. DeCoteau even said that he wanted to avoid any kind of outright nudity in his Rapid Heart films, so what we got were a lot of very attractive men in very little clothing rubbing their bodies. Usually it was while they were having tormented dreams. Sometime sit was when they were showering with their underwear on. Occasionally they just slowly wandered around old buildings in their undies for the heck of it. No matter what the reason, they were going to be shirtless and totally in love with their bodies. 

Around all of this self groping was usually a horror themed plot that gave us some reason all of these guys keep losing their clothes and rubbing their chests. For Leeches it has to do with giant leech hand puppets that are powered by super steroids taking out a college swim team who are also on super steroids. That... is B-movie gold. 

The leeches are a riot whenever you see them on screen. They are barely puppets when they are moving around on the ground, but when they attack someone they go full hand puppet mode. Most of the time it looks like the person getting killed is getting a gentle exfoliating scrub. It is... magic. There is very little blood in this movie, and absolutely no gore to speak of. This was really made with teen viewers in mind. Especially those looking to MST3K it until they passed out when the sugar rush ran off. 

That also extends to the sexual content in the film. These guys, and the leeches, will explore every nook and cranny of their torso, but damn it, the important bits stay covered! Sex? Off screen only.  Breasts? Not gonna happen bub! It is still dirty, though! The intent is to excite, but not over excite. This is something where you might get a side eye from mom or dad if they walked in while the sleep over crew was watching it, but they wouldn't make you turn it off. 

It is also the closest you will get to decent gay softcore. These movies wouldn't actually get outright gay for a few years, though. All of the guys in these movies are played as straight. It is just very much from the gay male perspective. So if you want guys making out, this one will leave you high and dry sadly. This was the early 2000's, and these were made for a more mainstream audience, but with a healthy wink towards the gay audience that was for sure going to show up. 

Now for the eternal question. Does it work as a movie? Yes and no. It is bad. Most likely intentionally so. It is probably one of the best Rapid Heart movies, though. At least in this one things happen. The whole movie isn't locked to one house, and it limits the padding. Some of DeCoteau's films are more padding than actual film. Brotherhood V: Alumni I am looking at you! It is watchable, and this is from a director who knows how to make low budget B-movies. The man directed Puppet Master III for crying out loud. 

In doing a little research for this post, I also came across an article from the Michael Gingold, one of the writers of Leeches, and his experience working on the film.  You can check it out here. You can really tell from the tone of the article that he had a good time writing it, and I had a good time watching it!

I can't recommend a lot of the Rapid Heart releases, and for sure none of the 1313 "movies", but Leeches is one I for sure can say is a good time. It is just dirty minded enough to make it onto my blog, and a bit of gay camp that I really adore. Honestly, it is worth checking out if you get the chance. 


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