Movie Talk: Haunting Desires (2004)

 From one of the B-movie masters, Fred Olen Ray, I bring to you the late night staple Haunting Desires. Featuring a cast of familiar faces including Beverly Lynne, John Richardson and Evan Stone Haunting Desires has the potential to be a late night classic. Sadly, lazy pacing drags this movie down, making it one that I would almost recommend people skip. 

The basic plot is that there is a sex club called The Underworld... or The Underground... the script is never totally sure. From the outside it looks like a sleazy little strip club, but once you dig a little deeper it turns out to be something much more dangerous. The Under... The club is the home to a den of vampires who are preying on the clientele. Will spunk reporter Jill and gruff Detective Trout be able to stop them? Will you care? 

Fred Olen Ray knows how to make a fun B-movie. He brought us Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers for crying out loud! Here, though, he seems to just be going through the motions. The film looks fine, is lit well, and the cast give their all, but the movie has no real heart or sense of fun to it. Part of the problem is the tone. Ray's softcore films tend to lean into camp more often than not, but this one tries to play it somewhat serious. It doesn't really work. There are moments where the cast goes a little over the top that show some signs of life, but those humorous moments are few and far between. Even Evan Stone, who can ham it up with the best of them, comes off as kind of... flat. He is going for the seductive Anne Rice style of vampire... but more straight, and he just seems to under sell it to the point of coming off as sleepy. It isn't until the final confrontation between the vampires and our main characters that the camp even really shows up. 

I am shocked how much I did not enjoy this movie. This was actually a rewatch for me, as I saw the movie ages ago after finding it in my local Blockbuster. I remember my friends and I having a blast MST3K'ing it. Watching it again, I was confused at what we even found funny. I thankfully watched the R rated cut, as I'm not sure I could handle ten more minutes of this one, even if it was just in the sex scenes. If you do really want to see this uncut it actually just got released on Blu-Ray as Grave Desires. These movies are notorious for having multiple versions out there under different titles, so just a heads up there. The version I saw, under the Haunting Desires name, is the Blockbuster cut and is part of Full Moon's streaming library. There is still plenty of nudity, and there are some sex scenes present, but they have been very trimmed down. 

Does this work as a movie? Not really. I mean, it tells a coherent story, and the acting and direction are fine, but over all it commits the gravest sin of all. It is boring. The idea is interesting, and would actually get re-used when Fred Olen Ray created the gay vampire series The Lair for HereTV! a few years after this film is released. That series even features Beverly Lynne and Evan Stone playing new characters in the first season. That show was way more fun than this film was, and I highly recommend giving it a shot if you want some queer B-Movie goodness. I can't speak to the new spin off, The Lair: Only Fangs, though. Haven't seen that on yet. 

Fred Olen Ray has better late night movies out there. This one just happens to be one of his better known films. I have no idea why, as it really isn't anything special. I would say skip this one and check out the far superior Curse of the Erotic Tiki or The Ghost in the Teeny Bikini. Both are way more fun, and feature a lot of the same performers as this film. 

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