The Guilt of Guilty Pleasures

My biggest problem I have right now now is how to approach this subject. I am a life long horror and exploitation fan. I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to films, and things that would make a lot of people nope out don't even phase me. Yes, I have limits in what I will subject myself too. There certain kinds of films, and themes, that are just a no go for me. While many have praised A Serbian Film for its raw and intense political messaging, and shocking no-holds barred approach to its material, I personally don't feel like I need, or really want, to subject myself to the content of the film. I will avoid films because of people who are in them because of things they have done off camera. So, I do understand having hard "nopes" when it comes to films. 

The thing that got me thinking about this subject was the movie Girlhouse. Now, I am a hardcore slasher fan. I enjoyed the heck out of it. The mix of sexuality and violence was nothing new, or shocking to me. Did it make me uncomfortable? Of course, but horror movies like that shouldn't make you comfortable. For my husband, it was a different experience. He actually checked out not long after the opening. For him, the movie was too intense and too gory. While I did decided to talk about the movie on the blog, I did second guess myself. Was this one going to be too much for my audience? The reality is, there is only one way to find out, so I went forward and trusted my gut that it fit with the films that I wanted to discuss this week. I still have to acknowledge that for some that cross section between sexuality and violence that a lot of slasher films fall on can be problematic for some viewers/readers. I do want to be mindful of that. 

And that is where my brain runs into trouble. 

This is not a serious blog. I do not plan on digging into the social and psychological effects dirty movies have on people. Honestly, the jury is still out on that one, and I am not really the best person to interpret the current findings. I'm just some middle aged gay guy who loves sleazy, smutty trash. I love talking about it. I want to be respectful when I talk about it, but I also know that what I am talking about is usually not respectable. I don't aim to offend, but some people will find what I talk about offensive. I'm trying to figure out how to create this space where talking about this type of stuff can be fun, and safe. The issue I run into is when I write my brain goes into the most dangerous mode possible. It aims to not offend anyone. It is completely impossible, I know, but my thought process goes crazy in trying to make sure that everyone is happy, and no one is offended, and to make sure I point out all of the problematic areas and shame them like a good boy. 

It is exhausting. Also, completely pointless. 

I am considering giving another Hentai Havoc column a try. Figured if I picked something more well known it might introduce the column better, and so I was had two titles in mind,  Bible Black and Night Shift Nurses. Both are very well known, but both are loaded with objectionable, shocking and offensive content. Now, I know that I can handle the material. I've probably seen worse. The issue is, how the hell do I talk about it? This stuff is offensive, I know, but that is also kind of the point. It is shock for shock. I know that, and I want to be able to talk about it that way. If I enjoy it, I want to be honest that I enjoyed it. Even if it is gross, horrifying and offensive. I think those blog is going to slowly become an exercise of getting over my own lingering conservative social hang ups. 

Here is my dark and dirty secret. I love problematic things. Urotsukidoji, the grand-daddy of tentacle porn, is one of my favorite films of all time. It is beyond obscene, and I adore it. It doesn't turn me on, but I love the mix of splatter punk style horror with shocking sexuality. I love the pitch dark humor, and the epic nature of the storytelling. I have probably watched that movie ten times, and I just pre-ordered the remaster Blu-Ray. I haven't actually talked about the movie (or the OVAs) on this blog because some part of my brain jumps in and says that this needs to be shamed for not being... I don't know... appropriate? I was going to say PC, but I honestly hate how that term gets thrown around. I just let the guilt part of the guilty pleasure override the excitement I feel about talking about something. 

I think that is part of my problem. I am trying to talk about something so completely socially unacceptable, and do it in a socially acceptable way. The issue I have is that usually the socially acceptable way is to shame the material, and all those who make it. I can't do that. I enjoy this stuff! I have a whole blog about how I enjoy this stuff. Not everything I love is as problematic as Urotsukidoji, obviously. I love a wide range of film types, and storytelling types. I just pre-ordered the first two Bikini Car Wash Company Blu-Ray, and cannot wait to expose more poor husband to more cheesy goodness. I just want to be honest about my love for all of them without shame. 

I think I need to declare Midnight Kiss a shame free space for me, and all those who visit. That doesn't mean being rude, or being cruel. That means being okay with expressing joy, and enjoyment, for things that people would generally frown upon. Obviously, there are limits. Material that include actual violence or harm are a no go. Anything illegal, obviously is a no go. It also doesn't mean I can't be critical, because my love for this stuff ain't blind. But if it involves consenting adults making a movie, then enjoy! Time for a lot less guilt, and a lot more pleasure.